Show Me Where It Hurts

Remember when we were little and we fell down and hurt ourselves. A trusted parent, teacher or doctor would say, “Show me where it hurts”. This simple request often began the healing process. We knew we were in the good hands of people who care for us. We would cry a little bit more, take a deep breath, and stammer out our answer. Usually a Band-Aid and a kiss were all we needed to feel better. As children we might not have the words or knowledge to explain our pain. But words were not necessary. We could simply point to where it hurt and the healing would begin

As adults, we have a experienced a number of painful events. From some of these we have found healing but from others we still suffer. Most of these lasting hurts are located deep within us, buried by years of quick & easy attempts to ease the pain. Out of shame and fear, we have kept these hurts to ourselves. We have not dared to show anyone that we are hurting. We fearthe additional pain of humiliation and condemnation. To alleviate this deep pain, we have bandaged ourselves with our drug and/or behavior of choice. This treatment worked for a while but has now become a bigger problem than the original hurt. Many addictions are rooted in unresolved trauma and shame.

Just as when we were little, we need a safe trusted person to say, “Show me where it hurts”. This simple request often begins to healing process because we are able to communicate the nature and the source of our pain. Sounds simple and simplistic. At one level it is. However, it can be the most difficult thing to do because it makes us vulnerable to being hurt again through judgment and rejection. Therefore, it requires a supportive nurturing setting such as a church group, recovery group, counselor’s office, or with a trusted friend. Often even without words, healing begins because we know we are in the good hands of people who care for us. This is the essence of faith. This is the beginning of healing.

Steve Parham